Why we talk to our cats like housemates (and why that's fine)

A normal morning in our house

"Morning. Did you sleep well? You did, didn't you. On my side of the bed, again."

That is roughly how the day starts. The kettle goes on. The cat sits by the bowl and stares. We tell her breakfast is coming, that she is very patient, that yes, we know, it has been ages. It has been four minutes.

If you live with a cat, there is a fair chance you do this too. You talk to them like a flatmate who never pays rent and always gets the best seat.

You are not the only one

Ask around and almost every cat parent admits to it. We ask the cat what it thinks of the weather. We say sorry when we accidentally nudge them with a foot. We give them a running commentary while we cook, fold washing, or hunt for keys.

Some people use a special sing-song voice. Others talk to their cat in a completely normal tone, as if discussing the electricity bill. Both are common, and both are fine.

Why we do it

Cats are good listeners. They do not interrupt. They do not check their phone. They might blink slowly at you, which feels like agreement.

It fills a quiet house. Plenty of us work from home or live alone. Talking out loud to another living thing makes the place feel less empty.

It helps us think. Saying things out loud can sort out your thoughts. Explaining your to-do list to the cat is basically rubber duck problem solving, just with fur.

We see them as family. Most of us do not think of our cats as objects in the house. They have moods, preferences and routines. Talking to them is a natural way of treating them like the household members they are.

Do cats understand any of it?

Not the words, mostly. But they do pick up more than people expect.

Studies have found that cats can recognise their own names and tell their owner's voice apart from a stranger's. Cats also respond differently when we use that softer, higher tone we save for them, compared with how we speak to other adults. In other words, your cat likely knows when you are talking to them, even if "would you like the chicken or the fish" is lost on them.

Cats also learn patterns. The sound of "dinner" followed by the rattle of a bag is a lesson they learn fast. So is the tone you use right before the carrier comes out. They are listening, in their own way.

Is it weird?

No. Psychologists who study how we relate to animals generally see this as ordinary. Giving animals human-like qualities is something people have done forever. It is part of how we bond with them.

It can even be a good sign. Talking to your cat often means you are paying attention to them. You notice when they seem off, when they are not eating, or when they are extra clingy. That kind of attention is a big part of caring for a cat well.

The conversations we all have

A few lines that might sound familiar:

• "Is that your water bowl or is it mine now?"
• "Please don't knock that off. Please. Okay, you knocked it off."
• "I have a meeting in two minutes, can you not sit on the keyboard."
• "Who's a good girl? Not you. You bit me. But I love you."
• "Fine, I'll sit somewhere else."

The last one is the most honest. In most homes, the cat wins the debate.

Keep talking

If you chat away to your cat all day, there is nothing to fix. It is one of the small, sweet parts of sharing a home with an animal. Your cat may not answer in words, but the slow blinks, the head bumps and the way they follow you from room to room are their side of the conversation.

If you enjoyed this, we have more stories about everyday life with cats in the archive.